guinevere
07-09-2003, 01:58 PM
Those who frequent Carolinahurricanes.com, please forgive the double posting. I did not write this but it hits so close to home and thought some of the comments sounded very familiar..with a few of my own editorial comments of course. ;)
At last, hockey's secret code has been cracked. Everyone knows
hockey coaches speak in code. Finally, after years of exhaustive
study, that code has been broken. Usually, the coach speaks in code
when he's trying to sugar-coat his assessment of a player or his
team.
We now know the difference between "what a coach says" and "what a
coach really means." Here's a list of the most common"code" phrases
used by coaches:
Code: He's a role player.
Translation: We think he can play a role, we just haven't figure out
what that role is yet.
Code: He's a "character" guy.
Translation: He makes us laugh, tells jokes and does impressions.
Code: He's good in the room.
Translation: We should leave him in the room because he's useless on
the ice.
Code: He brings intangibles.
Translation: We're not sure what he brings to the team.
Code: He's a competitor.
Translation: He competes every night, he just doesn't win very
often.
Code: He's gritty.
Translation: He needs a bath.
Code: He's hard-nosed.
Translation: He's dumb enough to lead with his face.
Code: He gives us physical presence.
Translation: He takes up space.
Code: He's a technically sound goalie.
Translation: His reflexes are lousy.
Code: He's a reflex goalie.
Translation: He hasn't got a clue on how to play the angles.
Code: He's a power-play specialist.
Translation: I like having an extra man out there to cover his
screw-ups.
Code: He's a stay-at-home defenceman.
Translation: He can't skate and carry the puck at the same time.
Code: He's an offensive defenceman.
Translation: He can't play defence.
Code: He adds toughness.
Translation: He's here for two shifts a night and start fights on
both of them.
Code: He's an all-round player.
Translation: He doesn't do anything particularly well.
Code: He's feisty.
Translation: He chirps at the opposition and takes dumb penalties at
crucial times.
Code: He's got experience.
Translation: He's lost with better teams.
Code: He has tremendous upside.
Translation: He can't get any worse.
Code: He's a "project".
Translation: This guy was abandoned in the jungle as a small boy and
taught to play hockey by the family of gorillas who adopted him. And
I'm supposed to coach this?
Code: He's a grinder.
Translation: It's 50-50 he'll miss an empty net from three feet.
Code: He's got good work ethic.
Translation: He works hard but accomplishes little.
Code: He's a playmaker.
Translation: He had better pass, because he shoots like my
grandmother.
Code: We've got good chemistry.
Translation: We may be lousy, but we all get along.
Code: We're rebuilding.
Translation: We suck this year and we probably will the year after
that too. (why does this one make me feel very cold?)
Code: We're shaking up the lines to add offense.
Translation: I'm pulling names out of a hat and hoping it works. (Last season's strategy towards the end)
Code: We're letting him see the game from above so he can learn.
Translation: He ticked me off so much the last game, I want him as far away from me as possible.
Code: We only had a few bright spots tonight.
Translation: I just watched my career as a coach go right down the
drain.
Code: Things are turning around for us now.
Translation: We don't suck as much as before, and I can keep my
dinner down watching these losers.
Code: He's our star.
Translation: He can actually play hockey.
Code: We played undisciplined hockey.
Translation: The ref sucked.
Code: We were not as good as we should be
Translation: How can these high school dropouts get paid millions
for that crap they spewed on the ice tonight?
Code: We need to work harder.
Translation: No all night benders the night before.
Code: I am in the best shape of my career.
Translation: I have a no trade clause in my contract.
(Originally posted by Airshark on the BNF)
Guinevere :)
At last, hockey's secret code has been cracked. Everyone knows
hockey coaches speak in code. Finally, after years of exhaustive
study, that code has been broken. Usually, the coach speaks in code
when he's trying to sugar-coat his assessment of a player or his
team.
We now know the difference between "what a coach says" and "what a
coach really means." Here's a list of the most common"code" phrases
used by coaches:
Code: He's a role player.
Translation: We think he can play a role, we just haven't figure out
what that role is yet.
Code: He's a "character" guy.
Translation: He makes us laugh, tells jokes and does impressions.
Code: He's good in the room.
Translation: We should leave him in the room because he's useless on
the ice.
Code: He brings intangibles.
Translation: We're not sure what he brings to the team.
Code: He's a competitor.
Translation: He competes every night, he just doesn't win very
often.
Code: He's gritty.
Translation: He needs a bath.
Code: He's hard-nosed.
Translation: He's dumb enough to lead with his face.
Code: He gives us physical presence.
Translation: He takes up space.
Code: He's a technically sound goalie.
Translation: His reflexes are lousy.
Code: He's a reflex goalie.
Translation: He hasn't got a clue on how to play the angles.
Code: He's a power-play specialist.
Translation: I like having an extra man out there to cover his
screw-ups.
Code: He's a stay-at-home defenceman.
Translation: He can't skate and carry the puck at the same time.
Code: He's an offensive defenceman.
Translation: He can't play defence.
Code: He adds toughness.
Translation: He's here for two shifts a night and start fights on
both of them.
Code: He's an all-round player.
Translation: He doesn't do anything particularly well.
Code: He's feisty.
Translation: He chirps at the opposition and takes dumb penalties at
crucial times.
Code: He's got experience.
Translation: He's lost with better teams.
Code: He has tremendous upside.
Translation: He can't get any worse.
Code: He's a "project".
Translation: This guy was abandoned in the jungle as a small boy and
taught to play hockey by the family of gorillas who adopted him. And
I'm supposed to coach this?
Code: He's a grinder.
Translation: It's 50-50 he'll miss an empty net from three feet.
Code: He's got good work ethic.
Translation: He works hard but accomplishes little.
Code: He's a playmaker.
Translation: He had better pass, because he shoots like my
grandmother.
Code: We've got good chemistry.
Translation: We may be lousy, but we all get along.
Code: We're rebuilding.
Translation: We suck this year and we probably will the year after
that too. (why does this one make me feel very cold?)
Code: We're shaking up the lines to add offense.
Translation: I'm pulling names out of a hat and hoping it works. (Last season's strategy towards the end)
Code: We're letting him see the game from above so he can learn.
Translation: He ticked me off so much the last game, I want him as far away from me as possible.
Code: We only had a few bright spots tonight.
Translation: I just watched my career as a coach go right down the
drain.
Code: Things are turning around for us now.
Translation: We don't suck as much as before, and I can keep my
dinner down watching these losers.
Code: He's our star.
Translation: He can actually play hockey.
Code: We played undisciplined hockey.
Translation: The ref sucked.
Code: We were not as good as we should be
Translation: How can these high school dropouts get paid millions
for that crap they spewed on the ice tonight?
Code: We need to work harder.
Translation: No all night benders the night before.
Code: I am in the best shape of my career.
Translation: I have a no trade clause in my contract.
(Originally posted by Airshark on the BNF)
Guinevere :)